so when you failed…

I recently committed a sin, a willful, selfish action that defied God’s authority and design for my life. The moment and moments after are tormenting. I said to myself, “I can’t believe you did that. What would God think of you? After all you guys have gone through. I really can’t believe that you did that.” 

Then I thought, “What would God think of this? Would he be as surprised as I was?” 

The fact of the matter is, God wasn’t surprised at all. In fact, He knew that in that time, place, and emotion, I would commit that sin and that I was actually more than capable, heck, prone to act like that. 

The reason why we can’t believe that we did that is because we have an ignorant, incomplete, fluffed, and inaccurate beliefs of ourselves. We have to acknowledge that we live in the world that is a prisoner of sin (Gal 3:22). We have to acknowledge that, before we met Jesus, we really didn’t know any better. We have to acknowledge that we have to constantly fight to follow God’s design, which is unnatural and foreign to our old ways (Gal 5:16-18). 

When we get real with ourselves and realize that we are prone to fail, that’s when we give up trying to do godly things on our own. That’s when we stop trying to be someone that we are not. That’s when we stop proving our righteousness to God and to the world. 

That’s when God says, “Alright, let’s get this show rollin’” It’s basically doing this every moment, every day, every year… that results in God-led transformation. 

So, let’s get real and get down to the business. Shall we? 

why we should rejoice in our incompetency

I know: you tried and tried to remove that thorn of flesh (addiction, idols, suffering, habits, etc). All you hear is “my grace is sufficient for you” just because it is engraved in your head via years of church… but you have absolutely no idea how His grace works and what that means. I am there and have been there many many times. While it does suck to feel “stuck,” I will tell you reasons why you should be rejoicing rather than being sick of yourself. 

1. It shows us exactly who/what we are. We are not suppose to be super-human, single-handedly defeating sins, one at a time. If this was true, why did our salvation require anyone else other than spiritual training and time? It required something super-natural to defeat our natural self because we were helpless in our filth. Not trying to bring you down. I am just trying to bring you down to the ground. It is very OK with God for you to feel needy, clingy, and desperate. This place is where self-sufficiency is out the window. This place is where there is less of us and more of Him. This place is where magic happens and scriptures come alive. Rejoice!

2. It shows us exactly who/what God is. When we acknowledge that this battle is not just ordinary battle and that this is a supernatural one, we also admit that we cannot fight this battle and we give our weapons to God. We scurry behind him and just lean on him, from one clash to another. It was not our responsibility to be saints on our own and defend God’s image. It is our responsibility to yield to the Spirit and adhere/abide to God. It is our responsibility to run after Jesus with our anxiety, worry, and problems. The results are in his hands! Doesn’t that take loads off your shoulders? We can walk confidently in faith, knowing that God is dealing with your problems as soon as you give it to him. 

3. It shows us exactly what our relationship with God is. Watching God deal with our problems, telling us wisdom as He man-handles our sinful habits and answering our questions is like a child watching his dad handle harsh, intense tools in the garage. The child doesn’t worry that a table needs to be fixed. The child’s rightful worry is to make sure that he captures all the awesome and majestic moments of his Father. The intimacy is based on the trust that God does our lives best. He has enough credentials and deserves our trust. It’s like the moment when the son, in early adulthood, when he realizes that his parents do know somethings, comes to his parents for advice on everything… and obeys them. 

Don’t beat yourself up for your stupidness. We are all losers. Just grow up and go to God. Ask him to control and guide your life. 

Can we live for God without surrendering?

Yes, Lord, take it all. Be my king. Be my guide. I will follow you wherever you go… but I can still date him/keep my shopping/disobey my parents/be shy when my friends bash Jesus/hate that girl who is mean to me, right? 

Jesus just said, “follow me.” That’s what he wants from us. We say, “yes, Lord,” but what do we add? “so what do I pack?” I have been learning more about surrendering it all. It’s a radical yet very simple concept. Makes everything I did before “to follow Jesus” a cop-out Christianity. Following Jesus means erasing your 30 year plan, erasing your attitude/perspective/values on self/others/world, erasing your priorities, and following the Dude and what he did during his life. It scares us because we don’t know if He will let us shop on Amazon whenever you want, if he would let us have any choices, if he wants us to go to Africa or stay at home with your parents, etc. It’s basically taking away all these what-if’s and what-not’s and literally saying, “Yo, Jesus. I have no plan for today. What do you want to do?” 

When I tell you that Jesus told you to follow Him, you know exactly what’s weighing you down. You know exactly what He wants you to do. The problem is usually not the lack of awareness. It’s lack of willing, obedient heart. Whatever that is holding you back from following Jesus (your fears of uncertainty, doubt, desire for a person/purchasing power/entertainment/recognition/etc), throw it out. Trust me, it’s worth it. Then, you will taste God’s enthusiasm to work in your life. He wants to do so many things with you! He will change your life. 

Also, don’t even think about doing more God stuff to cover lack of surrendering OR pretending to give a blind eye to the very thing He wants you to give up first. I tried it. It doesn’t work. Your work for Him will be dead (Revelation 3). Come back and just simply listen and follow Jesus. 

attacking church: bulls*** proof faith

“I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back.” - Phillips Brooks

One missionary doctor was speaking, “If you think your faith is enough because you include God in your agenda, do your quiet time, and give tithe, you are wrong. Your faith is absolutely nothing [compared to people who depend on God for their life].” It has been pretty real in my heart. I think it might be important to ponder about our own faith. 

Today’s church simply doesn’t challenge our faith enough. 

In well-off societies, God’s reign is hard to be seen because we are blinded by our comfort and convenience. What does that make us? Big obese brats who basically complain about everything. Spiritual war is real. God can’t afford to have half a** soldiers. The image of Christianity is ruined too much already by associating with societal aristocrats, or the well-off’s, and their wimpy faith. I am not saying that we should sell everything for our faith to be stronger because everyone has different journey; however, think about it this way: the poor builds faith on receiving the need, the rich builds faith on giving up the want. 

It is easy to just say, “God, take my life. Show me your will. I will do it.” Most church worship ends there. I am going to continue that worship and put it in your life very practically. There are things that we are holding onto that might be in the way of “giving Him all.” It might be a thought, a person, or a thing. 

Would you still put your trust, hope, and faith in Jesus even if…

• your pet died unexpectedly? 
• your parents are filing divorce?
• you are sexually abused? 
• you are single for rest of your life?
• you can’t hold grudge against that person anymore?
• you are rejected by your friends?
• your parents filed bankruptcy? 
• your family member is diagnosed with rare, un-treatable disease?
• your sibling is unsaved?
• you were cheated on? 
• you couldn’t go to college anymore?

You might dismiss what I am saying. You might be offended. You might think that I am being a crazy extremist. You might say that God doesn’t work like that. 

Then how does God work? What are you afraid of? Losing your current comfort and opportunities? This is the moment where your spirituality is ripped apart from this physical world. You won’t see Christ in your life unless you are ripped apart from this world. Your faith has to withstand the fire throughout life. 

Are you avoiding the fire by building up your resume, credit score, or network? Or are you constantly jumping in the fire for your faith to be purified for God?